Saturday morning I was ready. I woke up, inspired to do another fashion (ootd) shoot. I stayed up late the night before studying Pinterest, trying to find inspiration. I was pretty confident on what I was going to do, where I wanted to shoot, and how I could translate my vision through the camera lens. Lately I’ve been on a roll (or so I felt). I started to feel more and more comfortable in front of the camera. Of course my shyness is always present in the beginning of a shoot. With A LOT and I mean A LOT of coaching I can survive shooting in public. I normally choose areas where I know the times where there won’t be too many wandering eyes or none at all!
Maybe I was a little too ambitious Saturday because my shyness hit me like a ton of bricks when it came time for me to “perform.” My idea for this shoot was to casually enjoy my hot chocolate at a cool cafe spot in my downtown area. The place itself is so blogger style. It’s a blogger’s dream place to shoot. Muddy Waters cafe is dope. A time piece cafe. Filled with corky vintage items from different eras. This place is covered from floor to ceiling with stuff. Since it’s such a dope spot, it’s also a very popular spot.
I’m inside. It’s relatively quiet at first. We went in the back where a fireplace, vintage artwork, interesting figurines, and old fashion furniture occupied the room. We ordered our food. By the time the food arrived (which wasn’t long at all) the room was practically filled and I completely froze. I can be deathly shy. I hate attention when it’s face to face….if that even makes sense LOL. Yes, I have a blog and I post pics of myself etc, but I’m hiding behind my key board just typing away. It’s completely different at least for me when I’m actually “shooting” in public. I get crazy nervous. Something I truly want to work on as I continue further on as a blogger. Bottom line is I let my insecurities get the best of me. All the pics we ended up shooting in my opinion were “trash.” I knew I could do better. I felt so uncomfortable, stupid, nervous. I started to doubt myself and it showed through the images. I was so disappointed that I let my fear get the best of me.
After a while I kind of just gave up. I wanted to leave. My husband of course was just so patient with me. He drilled so many words of encouragement in my ear, but he also reminded me that it was okay to fail. I’m such a perfectionist that sometimes I let it over rule the reason why I started my blog to begin with, which is to create, inspire, and just have fun with it. No one is perfect. I am not perfect, so how real can I be if I don’t show my flaws or failures sometimes? It’s a learning experience. It was a total FAIL and ITS OK!!! I think as bloggers, influencers….what ever you want to call it…we try so hard to display this perfect image in our lives. I mean does anyone really look that pretty eating? Chugging down your hot chocolate is totally sexy…..ummm no….LOL. I had this image in my head that I wanted to portray. It didn’t work, so what.
Bottom line is if you mess up try again. Don’t take it as a defeat, take it as a learning experience. Last time I checked there was only one perfect man who lived on this Earth and he died on the cross for our sins. I’m definitely not him so I’m bound to make a couple more oopsies along the way LOL. Last but not least I found a couple of “positive quotes” to stay encouraged if you find yourself not having the best of days. Moral of the story is never give up.
“Set goals that excite you and scare you at the sametime.” -Unknown
“Never give up on something you want. It’s difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret.”-Unknown
“Just keep swimming.” -Dori